well Legend guys would remember how to use a machine gun from their WW2 days!
Reading this, for some reason I couldn't help thinking about Walter Mitty
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'Haven't you done the hoovering yet Adam?',snapped his wife. 'Just doing it now dear', he replied, pressing the big yellow starter button on the Dyson. As the motor fired into life and he tracked back and forth across the room, he couldn't help thinking how much the sound reminded him of a racing fuel pump...
...Parle's Vertigo blasted out of Rivazza, ignored the left into Variante Bassa and dived straight into the pits. Braking with surgical precision, he knew had 38 seconds lead over Van Ruskus, and his mind whirled as he trundled down the pitlane with the speed limiter chattering away - ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa. Hitting the marks perfectly, the crew jammed the refuelling rig into place and Parle took a long drag from the crew chief's Marlboro. 'Forget the tyre change, I'm still breaking the lap record even after 30 laps' - everyone knew that nobody drove as smoothly as Parle. 'By the way, I think there's a problem with the left rear damper bypass valve - I'm losing three tenths every lap due to bipolar oscillations, but I'll just have to drive round it'. Just as he finished speaking, the pit crew finally pulled off the refuelling hose. Mashing the throttle, he lit up the rears and surged out of the box in a cloud of tyre smoke. The mechanics let out a huge cheer as he disappeared down the pitlane - if anyone could beat the ruthlessly efficient Dutch ace, it was Parle!
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with apologies to James Thurber, writer of the best short story ever
If you've never read the original, it is here:
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/6821/thurber.html