UKGPL Season 16 (2008) Historic '66 - Monza (GP 1955-71) - Feb 17

[EvilClive]

In common with most professional F1 teams Hiki Waza Racing used the final round of the current championship to give a gentle run out and test of the prototype chassis for the coming season.

Under her ever watchful gaze, Arnold and Mabel Glutbucket ( honorary Japanese pit crew and saboteurs) hurriedly prepared the shiny new Waza  275 Mk2 for Monza. Unfortunately in order to keep hidden all of the great engineering innovations of the glorious Nippon Empire there was no time available for pre race day testing in case of industrial espionage by other teams.

As a result qualification runs were done on race fuel levels and minor technical adjustments to suspension etc were carried out with a micrometer adjustable 5kg hammer and scaffold tube by Arnold.  Mabel concentrated on the downforce settings, she achieved this by sitting alternately on the bonnet and gearbox.

It was apparent during Qualification that all other teams were afraid of the awesome power and potential of the new Wazamobile, as no-one came close to offering a tow at any point in the proceedings.
 However Wazatech ( the new abacus powered telemetry arm of the organisation led by new tekky recruit  Gigga Waza ) knew that in the race there would be ample opportunity to exploit the power of the V12 and advised Arnold on the length of arc through which his hammer should swing to get the optimum results.

Despite all the efforts of the round eyes to hamper our race, the Honda was towards the front of the grid for the start.
 A cautious use of the new rubber band  augmented launch control, allowed some impudent green machines to gain a temporary advantage down towards T1.
The usual jostling for positions through Lesmo allowed the mighty Honda to emerge on to the back straight perfectly positioned to unleash the energy of the V12.

Now with the round eyes unable to deny any slipstream effect, Waza power pulled the car onto the tail of the leading pack.
Parabolica was always a danger but negotiated with care on full tanks and the run down to Curve Grande allowed the gap to be controlled.

Many cars were unable to withstand the presence of the Waza and threw themselves into barriers and hedgerows ( or each other!!! ) in their fear.

At about half distance all but the last of the round eyes had vanished from our presence and only the honourable Fulvio showed true honour and courage in challenging in his pathetic green machine.
For many laps the Waza’s allowed Fulvio to dream of the possibility of defeating the Wazamobile, but a plan was in place.

With 3laps to go the Waza took the lead and the trap was sprung!!
At the crucial moment as the glorious Honda swept through, Mabel threw her 25kg industrial strength pocket sized moisturising lotion onto the track at Parabolica, exactly on the line that Fulvio would now take and despite his efforts momentary control was lost  and a gap opened up that would deny him any chance of a slipstream. This ploy also caused the demise of the arrogant Fezza that though it could catch the flying Waza.

She was pleased that the new chassis had proved capable of  trouncing the green and red machines and looks forward to next season when ALL victories will belong to her.

[fpolicardi]

 

[Clive Loynes]

LOL

Yes, well, I supposed that's one way of looking at a jammy win there Evil. 

[Hristo Itchov]

LMAO! Nice one, evil! Due to fear of total domination by the Wazas the administration handicapped Itchi Waza to a lesser chassis, which might be the case next season as well.  Perhaps mrs. Fujikawa wouldn't mind if we paint a few Hondas green...