UKGPL Season 21 (2011) Porsche - Brands Hatch (GP) - Jun 3

[Cookie]

Paul
I think it would be a great loss for the series if you were not here!
I enjoy your presence and your enthusiasm to make big steps forward.

I was married for 30years and allways had to fight for my right to have my hobby (RC-cars).
It was an island for me where all the daily hassle was forgotten and I could charge my batteries.
The only racing event in 20 years my wife accompanied me was one of my first victories, and she was so enthusiastic then.
Later I often had to remind her of this!
Hey you have the luck of a son who  admires you and is an upcoming GPLer.
I had allways whished that one of my sons would replace me one day, but it didn't happen...

Cheers
Axel

[clouds]

Uhm...it seems stories are reapeating over and over again. I was married too but for 13 years and one of the reasons I've lost my family is due to the hours I've dedicated to flight combat simulators (in particular to Aces High and IL-2). I don't drink at all, I don't smoke at all, I don't look for women (maybe my greatest mistake ), I was looking for other jobs during summer vacations...but it didn't seems to be very important to my ex-wife, she absolutely didn't like and didn't want I was fiddle like a child with simulators and effectively I've lost too many hours playing on my PC.
Now, what I can say directly from my personal experience is...which is the most important thing for you Paul, to be happy with your wife and your family or...to be happy with your hobby thinking both things seems they cannot be made at the same time ?
If you have an answer to this question, it will point you in the right direction.
Sons and daughters make always what they want, no matter if father is Einstein or a postman (and...I'm sorry for the postman   )
I think you'll take the right direction, thinking that, after all...this is only a game!

Nice to met you Paul and welcome to the fabulous world of the married simmers.    

[BadBlood]

Thanks for the support chaps. I just cannot get the time for practice without huge amounts of nagging and it is wearing. The problem is that I cannot do justice to myself or my team and I REALLY don't want to let anyone down - hence the notices in the Team events only. I will still try and make the Novices and the odd Spec and Historics race. Looks like Joseph (Miniblood) might make more races than me...

[Hristo Itchov]

The question here is - would your wife listen to you if you argue about something she does which you don't like her doing? And also - why? If it's your spare time, why not spend it any way you want... maybe I'm missing something, but it's not something I would call a normal relationship. Anyway, you probably know better for yourself.

[Ross Neilson]

Paul,

I had similar issues a while back, and my wife and I agreed I was spending too much time playing GPL. It is important to strike a balance after all.

Perhaps you're like me, in that you need a lot of practice in order to be ready to race. If that is the case, I suggest you devote yourself to just one series rather than trying to do too much. That way when you do race, you'll be ready and able to get a good result.

I admire the other guys who can race all mods to a high standard but I'm not able to do that.

[Hristo Itchov]

Very good point, Ross. Until you feel confident and gain a lot of experience, know a lot of tracks and cars, have a lot of setups and don't really need to practice except when learning a new track, then it will be a lot more productive if you narrow down your focus instead of spreading your efforts thin. For a beginner, I would suggest Novices, as the cars are the easiest to drive on the limit and at the same time the races are very closely fought out.

[BadBlood]

The problem is the timing really. 9pm is right on the kids bedtime so we hurry the kids to bed and then we have some time to ourselves after a hard day... "Sorry dear, got a race". You can see the problem...

I think it is the volume she objects to. Friday nights and Sundays are difficult because of the kids. Tuesdays are much easier. So I am looking to compromise and cut down on the number of series I participate in so that I can do better in the ones I do do. Last night was a good example. I had only had half an hour to practice at Valentino and qually was a nightmare. Just not enough time and it was embarrassingly bad so I bailed rather than ruin anyone's race. We had just come back from a party so my wife was a bit hacked off that she was left to get the kids to bed... fair enough really.

I enjoy the team series (even if I have contributed virtually nothing) but if I can't practice I don't want to take a seat that somebody else might make good use of and enjoy properly. If nobody comes forward I will fulfil the committments I made but it is not ideal. With hindsight I have taken on too much and my wife makes no distinction between the driving, practice and back-room stuff like reports, race imports and modding reviews. Its all 'time out'.

[miner2049er]

One of the reasons I only ever do 1 division per season is that I have 3 kids and they either have clubs to take them to or pick them up from, or it is time to take them to bed, so Sundays and Tuesdays are the only nights I can almost guarantee to be free and able to race.

I could maybe do a couple of divisions per season but would have less practise for both so I choose to concentrate on 1 and spend the other nights telling my wife how wonderful she is LOL.

When the kids are grown up I may be able to do more but by then I'll no doubt have something else to fill my spare time like playing on the pinball machine I still haven't got working.

[vosblod]

If nobody comes forward I will fulfil the committments I made but it is not ideal.

Paul, I wouldn't feel too obliged to fulfil commitments, find a balance as you have said. I find it hard to fit in the time needed for practice for all the races and my form has suffered accordingly. I'm concentrating on a couple of series and signed part-time for the others so I can dip in.

[EvilClive]

Firstly Paul...GPL is only a game ( stands back and covers face as bricks and missiles are thrown!)

Secondly.... whatever you do you are not letting anybody down, we all do this for our own amusement not to take over the world ( unless of course you are a Waza)

Thirdly..... it is you who has to live with your family and that must come before a computer game.

Sure, you can argue that you are entitled to some "me" time, but kids and wives don't run to a strict timetable. I guess I am lucky in that my kids have grown and left the nest several years ago ( that does not mean that they cease to be a drain on finances though!) and there is just myself and my wife in the house.
We have an arrangement where she can watch whatever she wants on the TV whilst I am racing and as we rarely want to watch the same type of programmes that works out well. I find the total immersion in a GPL race a great stress outlet from running a business in the current economic climate.

My computer is in the ( now ) spare bedroom so that I can have the surround sound on at a reasonable level and not disturb her. Plus, as Hristo said, I have been doing this long enough to have a library of good ( OK lets call them "usable"!!) setups and the experience to need little practice at most tracks. For Valentino I had memorised the track in about 5-6 laps and a couple of 20 minute sessions on the practice server to find the optimum racing line and gears etc.

You did kind of throw yourself into GPL and volunteer for all sorts of "extra" duties Paul. Perhaps not realising how much time they would actually take up   in your real life. Better perhaps that you do a lot less but are able to give the time easily to do one or two things rather than feel under pressure from all sides and doing far too much  .
I hope you continue to race with us and enjoy GPL, but take a good look at what you are currently doing and identify those things that you want to continue with and set the rest aside in the interests of domestic peace.
No-one has the right to criticise you for doing what you consider is right for you and your family so get the balance right for your own peace of mind.  

[Hristo Itchov]

No-one has the right to criticise you for doing what you consider is right for you and your family so get the balance right for your own peace of mind.  

Except for HER, but maybe SHE'll show some understanding! 

[Tom van Ostade]

At the end of the day, family and friends are more important than any game (even GPL ). That's all there is to say, really .

Tom.

[Hristo Itchov]

That's the thing though, isn't it? We're not here because of GPL, we're not playing it in Singleplayer mode. We're here for the social side of things, to race with real people and to communicate with them. So it's not as simple as you present it to be.

[BadBlood]

LOL - You have all cheered me up mightily...

[Ronniepeterson]

It would seem strange to me Paul if you were not on track at the events we contest together. So I hope you can reach a suitable comprimise. On the subject of not being at the sharp end we have talked before. As long as people are having fun who cares. See you at Silverstone in the 66's on Tuesday, I hope.